There are few stars as glamorous and timeless as this pink ‘paradigm of porcine pulchritude’, so with her new movie opening to the public today, Spabreaks.com caught up with the indomitable Miss Piggy to find out her secrets to staying the pinnacle of youth.
As a seasoned movie star how do you cope with the pressures of stardom?
Pressures of stardom? Au contraire! I find stardom an elixir of fabulosity that empowers and energizes moi. Being famous, getting recognized, not having to wait in line or pay for things is a perk, not a problem. I’ve never understood movie stars who complain about the difficulties of their fame. I say bring it on! The more paparazzi, screaming fans and incredibly large star trailers the better! Viva la fame!
Your career started in 1974 – how do you stay looking so youthful?
You gotta go mention the year, don’t you? Well, yes, I have had a long and illustrious career, haven’t I? But what is fame if you can’t look better as the years go by. That’s why I work very hard to maintain my youthful appearance. Well, actually, I have a staff of people—stylists, hairdressers, cosmetic surgeons, make-up artists, etc — who work very hard to maintain my youthful appearance. I just lie there and let them do their stuff!
Do you get time to relax?
I do. In fact, I’m relaxing while I answer these questions. If I doze off in mid answer, please make sure you…snnnxxxxxxxxx-zzzzzzzzzzz ….wake me up.
Do you have a favourite spa treatment?
I love the cucumber slices they put over moi’s eyes. I have no idea why they do that, but it’s nice to know that food can make you more beautiful. And if cucumbers are so great, imagine how much better you’d look with a box of bon-bons on your kisser?
Have you ever tried a mud rasul?
I did a lot of that sort of thing when I was growing up on the farm. These days, I avoid mud…unless, of course, I’m slinging it.
Who is your beauty icon?
Moi grew up watching the golden age of movie stars—Audrey Hepburns, Elizabeth Taylors, Marilyn Monroes, Norma Desmonds! I’ve modeled my beauty after these legends … and then, of course, taken it to the next level.
How do you stay in shape?
Easy. I have a personal trainer. He comes in five days a week and works out for me. Hey, if I’m doing the paying, he’s doing the sweating.
What are your top tips for looking flawless on the red carpet?
Start perfect and don’t change a thing. That works for moi. However, if you don’t have that advantage, I suggest two things: First, draw attention to your best features by pointing at them in front of the camera. And second, conceal your flaws…by punching out anyone who has the nerve to mention them.
You must be doing a lot of travelling to promote your movie at the moment – what is the one beauty product you can’t leave home without?
Excuse moi now. I have some relaxing to do. Snxxxxxxx—zzzzzzzzzzzzz
The Muppets is in cinemas nationwide from today!
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