With Father’s Day on Sunday spa goer, Andrew Boulton, explains why all men should take a little time out for a spa break …
Attention men, it’s time to celebrate dads and so strip to waist and head out to the woods to climb big rocks, grow beards and shake our fists angrily at medium sized mammals. Or, we could just skip all that and take ourselves off to a spa for the weekend …
Now, before you all batter me to death with beer cans, screwdriver bits, and the tiny pens from the bookies, hear me out. A spa is actually a thoroughly manly way to spend your time. And here, my friends, is why…
1. The Ladies Love It
Being a rugged man and being a scruffy (and ever so slightly smelly) man are two entirely different things. Getting yourself scrubbed, buffed, moisturised and altogether tidied up isn’t going to make you any less of a ‘bloke’.
What it will do is make you a considerably smarter, smoother and all round sexier character. But then again that can’t be true can it? I mean, George Clooney’s a thoroughly well groomed chap and look how repulsive he is to the ladies.
2. It’s A Cheeky Getaway
I’ll let you into a little secret. Going on a spa weekend is not a chore, it’s actually a holiday. Allow me to illustrate the difference. On a spa visit you can spend some time just bubbling away in a thoroughly relaxing hot tub. You will not be asked to mow the lawn. At a spa weekend you will be able to spend a little time in a herbal steam room, cleansing your body from impurities as you spend a cherished moment of quiet contemplation. You will not be forced to remove tea bags from a broken dishwasher. I think you get the point.
3. Get Fit (Proper Fit)
Spas are the ideal environment to start to get yourself into shape. Anywhere within 1000 yards of your favourite pub, the kebab shop and the toolbox you keep in the shed that’s actually filled with Roast Beef Monster Munch is not conducive to a fitness regime.
Spas have swimming pools, gyms filled with the latest fitness equipment, exercises classes that are welcoming to everyone and expanses of rather beautiful outdoor spaces to have a wander around. Some may have Monster Munch too, but that’s not the point.
What was your last meal? I’m guessing that as a median, it will fall somewhere between a Pukka Pie and a Findus Crispy Pancake. Now, contrary to what you may have been told, food at spas does not constitute a diet of leaves, water and your own hungry tears.
Spas tend to have rather excellent restaurants (some even Michelin starred) with so much delicious man food on offer you’d happily trade your Indiana Jones DVD boxset for just one more nibble from the menu.
Whether you like smacking around a tiny white ball with a thin piece of graphite, or smacking around a slightly larger green ball with a differently shaped piece of graphite, then a spa weekend may well be just for you. That’s right men, spas have sports. Proper sports too, with balls and shouting, not just Underwater Zumba or something equally baffling.
6. We’re All Pushing On
It’s true I’m afraid. This morning I got out of bed and four separate parts of my body cracked. And at times, my face in the morning looks like a badger’s been gnawing on it through the night.
At a spa we can talk to sensitive and understanding professionals about how we can take better care of our faces, without the shame of having to shuffle awkwardly around the cosmetics counters at Boots while militant perfume thugs spray you in the eyes and mouth with the latest fancy scent
7. It’s Fun
And the most important reason of all? Because it’s marvellous fun. Whether you’ve got health and fitness concerns you’d like to do something about. Whether you want to smarten up your appearance for work or personal reasons. Even if you’d just like to spend a relaxing weekend away in a comfortable place with someone you think is jolly nice.
Spa weekends men, that’s what we need this Father’s Day. And who knows, there may even be a squirrel you can shake your fist at as well.
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