Surfing into winter wellbeing

After my first full summer living in Devon I feel like I am beginning to find my feet. We fell in love with life here instantly, but now that my daughter is more settled in her new school, and my partner and I have found our routine, I am realising something else - it's helping me to explore new habits which are giving me back a sense of self.

I wrote a little while ago about how nature has always been important to me and my wellbeing. Now, facing the mental, physical, and emotional changes of motherhood and menopause, it's once again helping me to feel my best in ways I had never anticipated.

The first step

The main reason we wanted to move to Devon was so that we could have a more outdoorsy lifestyle. I wanted my daughter to have an appreciation of nature, hobbies that got her into the fresh air, and an active life that helped her to feel happy and confident. I didn't just want that for her though, I also wanted it for myself.

Therefore, I had set myself the challenge of learning to surf, and happened upon a surfing and menopause group at The North Devon Surf School. It's a series of surf lessons, which are two hours each, followed by an hour-long menopause seminar, and perhaps most importantly, a chance to meet like-minded women. The first seminar looked at menopause symptoms and the impact of lifestyle, while the second one focused on nutrition and activity.

When I signed up, the main reason was to give myself some accountability - to make sure I not only started surfing but stuck with it. I didn't really think I would ever be able to stand up on the board. However, the course has opened a gateway to three things that are changing my life: community, confidence, and a whole new appreciation for how what we eat can help manage menopause.

Surfing through menopause

I have never been that worried about my weight because I've always been active, but I am concerned about how I feel, and through a combination of being busy and heading into midlife, I had put on some weight in recent years, which didn't drop off the way it used to.

Life in Devon is instantly more active, even though we had an active lifestyle before moving here anyway. Broadly speaking, all activities involve being outside and moving. Heading into the winter, however, getting outside requires a bit more encouragement, especially when it's wet and windy.

Surfing, when you live by the sea, seems like such a cliche, and I have often heard cold water swimmers wax lyrical about its benefits, but now that I'm doing it myself, I am the one singing its praises. It's unbelievable how the waves and the water make you feel - they crash into you and pull you apart and you're constantly fighting against it, but it's exhilarating - it's impossible to explain how it feels.

That, in itself, is helping me to feel fitter, stronger, and better in my own body, but what I didn't expect is how much calmer I feel, and as a result, I'm finding my daughter is calmer as well. For a long time I have felt tired a lot of the time, and that can make me quite ratty, but something about getting into the water is making all the difference to how I feel, and I can see that reflected in my daughter's behaviour as well.

I don’t have scales in the house, so I couldn’t tell you if I’ve lost weight or not, but mentally I feel better, which means I will continue to do what I’m doing, and it's already starting to pay off. I had my third lesson the other day - the conditions were perfect, and something clicked - I stood up! I realised I can do this; I can get fitter, and better, and it made me feel settled both in myself and where I am.

I should probably mention at this point that I have the best other half who picks up a lot of the parenting responsibilities so I can go and have those three hours on a Saturday, and I am enormously grateful for that. Also, shoutout to lovely Loren Leaver from LK Health and Wellbeing SW, who runs the menopause/surfing events. She is so helpful and kind, offering a calm presence and lots of support, charging just £100 for four two-hour surfing lessons and four menopause sessions!

Living and learning

The menopause seminars have given me much more than I had anticipated too. We have always been quite healthy with what we eat, but learning about the impact of certain foods, particularly with hormone changes, has encouraged us to make two key changes which are also making a big difference to how we feel.

The first is swapping out a lot of starchy pasta and rice for more lentils, wholegrain foods, and vegetables. The second is that I have started 16/8 fasting, where you eat your meals within an eight hour window during the day and then fast for 16 hours overnight. Different people do different timeframes, but I have found this works well for me. One of the big things is that it's stopped me from snacking in the evening - picking up biscuits and wine out of habit rather than because we're hungry.

Instead, I’ve got into different types of herbal teas (which also help with menopause, as it happens). That means I'm having less milk and sugar too, but perhaps the biggest surprise is that I have more energy and far fewer cravings for sugary snacks than I did before. Like I said, my mood is a lot better, which might be the surfing, the fasting, or both - either way, something is working and I'm happy.

Settling into a community

There's only five of us in the surf and menopause lessons, but that in itself is a small community. Summer is incredible by the coast, but as we head into winter the world settles a little - it's nice - it's just the community that lives here.

We all understand that community is important, but there's something about a smaller, coastal community that I haven't experienced before. We have people we cycle to school with everyday, people we see on the beach. It's calm, and it's good to be part of something welcoming like that.

I don't think that's something you can just arrive and be part of - it takes time, and there's something very comforting about it. I think getting involved with surfing, at whatever level, is an important part of that because it's such a big part of living here.

Documenting my midlife wellness journey

All of this has really been about trying to be the best version of myself. I have really struggled with tiredness and brain fog in the last couple of years and I didn't want that to impact my daughter. I do worry about the future - I want to have the best brain power, and the best wellbeing possible, so I'm doing the stuff I’m in control of, and that I enjoy, so it becomes a lifestyle.

I am terrible at social media, but I started a TikTok account - MAWIW or Middle Aged Women In Wetsuit - a play on MAMIL (Middle Aged Men In Lycra), to document my sea, surf and midlife wellness journey. Some of that's about holding myself accountable, so I keep doing it, but I also want to shout about moving to Devon, learning to surf, and show that anyone can do it.

People who are like me do this. You don’t have to be a specialist or an influencer, or have a grand plan - you just have to take one step at a time. There's a danger, perhaps particularly for women, of overthinking things, and believing you need to have everything mapped out. Sometimes it's just about the next step, whether it's moving across the country or taking up a new hobby.

For me, the next step with surfing was paying for the course. Then it was turning up. Then it was getting on the board. You think everyone makes these big changes in life courtesy of social media culture, but it's ok to make incremental changes. It’s unglamorous but it’s real - I look horrendous in a wetsuit - and I'm not immune to worrying about it - but when it boils down to it, I don’t really care as long as I'm happy.

My focus is on looking after myself and my loved ones - it's about longevity and feeling my best. I'm taking one step at a time and somehow I'm finding myself living my best life.