Valentine’s Day is associated with hearts and boxes of chocolates, but 10 years into marriage and two children down the line, Laura Bowry-Prior writes about what she really wants this year.
I have always thought that Valentine’s Day is more geared up for the early stages of a relationship… the secret admirers and the daters - when you don’t yet have anniversaries to celebrate. It’s a chance to show off to each other how caring and cute you can be in an attempt to impress each other. However, I’m frequently told that it’s not, and whatever stage of your relationship, it should be enjoyed.
I guess that’s it, when the need to impress your other half doesn’t feel so important, you have to find new meanings and excitements for Valentine’s to keep things fresh and think of new ways to show your other half how much you love them. This isn’t easy; life becomes a mix of mundane and madness once you throw kids, careers, house chores and everything in between into the mix.
In the early years of my relationship with my now husband, pre-marriage, Valentine’s Day would mean a night away or a nice meal out, flowers, cards, and chocolates. I absolutely loved those days, and I would have laughed at anyone who would have told me then, that I would one day not care so much for those things. Those times were totally necessary as memories and the foundations of getting to know each other and feeling totally head over heels. However, now a decade on, I would quite frankly swap the posh dinner for some simple gestures…
I remember reading something when I was pregnant that said something along the lines of ‘’When my husband packed my child’s swimming bag for me – goggles and water bottle not forgotten, I’ve never felt so loved and supported and it was a turn-on’’… I can COMPLETELY resonate with this now.
The ‘I’ll take a job off your list gesture’ is a great place to start. The thoughtfulness is where it is AT at this stage in our lives. The ‘’I’ll sort the children out and put something nice in the oven, go run a bath and take your time…’’. The “I picked you up your favourite dry white wine on the way home, as I noticed we didn’t have any and it sounds like you’ve had a manic day’’ - that’s what it’s all about.
For Valentine’s Day this year, what I would most like is those small gestures of thoughtfulness, some uninterrupted time together and calm, to feel relaxed and appreciated, and… Maybe a small bunch of flowers (I am not totally over the odd small gift). I’m sure in 10 years time, it may well go a full circle, and with grown-up children and less to juggle, those nights away and meals out may make a return. I’m here for all the chapters… It’s just not where we are right now, and that’s absolutely fine.
Want to make space for some quality time with your partner this year? Book a spa break or buy a spa gift voucher for the one you love
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